Make America Free Again

I am disappointed that Trump won the presidency. I am more disappointed the Democrats let him win, that the Democrats were not daring, did not have the courage or vision to fight fire with fire, to have a drastic plan of action.

I wish Harris had vowed to Make America Free Again. If only she had boasted: I will dismantle the Patriot Act. Destroy ICE. You will no longer walk in fear. I will pull down America’s police state.

Aren’t you ashamed of being afraid? I will save you from America’s freedom haters and fear mongers.

And if she lost, her supporters would have been challenged to save themselves, be courageous, redeem the nation from its cowardice.

Trump’s masculinity

Progressive women in America have been hoping that men would become more respectful, more loving, more responsible, more mature. With the election of Trump, progressive women feel they have been defeated, that Trump is a step backward.

For years women have wanted to earn more money and to attain more power. As they succeeded, they became more confident. They also became arrogant. Thus the term “badass women”.

With Trump many men have found a “badass man”. An arrogant man.

He is really a bully, a wimp and immature. But the majority of men who voted for him do not have the common sense to see him that way.

Many American men see their loss of, or no hope for, a comfortable secure place in the world to be a result of America’s institutions focusing on women while neglecting men. Men do not feel free. They sense that in women’s fight to claim freedom there has not been a creation of equality but a shift of respectability and influence from men to women.

Women ask, what about all those horrible things Trump has done to women? Well, what about the female leaders in our colleges talking about a culture of rape, men as potential rapists, all those privileged white men, and for old timers, the Super Bowl lie?

If men regain the confidence and success that they had, somebody like Trump will not be elected. He will be hooted out of the public eye for being unmanly, for not considering it “beneath a man” to take advantage of women.

Trump will do nothing for America’s struggling men. Maybe he will make things worse for women.

Men will feel betrayed. Women already feel a sense of unjust “poetic justice”.

The President Speaks: 4th of July

Good afternoon my fellow Americans. It’s been 250 years since our Founding Fathers declared themselves and our nation free from the oppressiveness of England and its king.

I know today we seem to be free. Slavery is outlawed. We can for the most part travel anywhere in the country.

Police departments have extensive public relations bureaus and neighborhood outreach programs. Still, I cannot help but feel that something is not right with America and freedom. There seems to be no realization that those who signed the Declaration of Independence were bigger men than we are.

There also seems to be no realization that though they were free in a lot of ways we are, the signers knew something was not right and were courageous for taking an unnecessary economic risk to attain what they passionately believed was the most important thing – political freedom.

Our Founding Fathers were grateful for the sacrifices their ancestors made for them. They considered the Pilgrims and Puritans superior to themselves.

We offer little gratitude to our Founding Fathers for being courageous, declaring their independence, lusting for liberty and creating our constitution. We feel that they were hypocrites. We feel Puritans were anal and Pilgrims somebody to laugh at for their strict religious beliefs.

We see mostly negative things in our history where our Founding Fathers saw mostly positive things in theirs. Each of the groups I mentioned had a mission to create a society where people are free from government interference.

We are not inspired by our Founding Fathers or their ancestors. We seem not to know or care that something is not right, that we will not be a source of inspiration to future Americans, if indeed America still stands.

What isn’t right is that because of our mobility, we are enslaved to frantic busyness and buying things. We are too busy to appreciate the frugality, hard work and faith of the Pilgrims and Puritans.

We are too fast moving and cynical to believe there is really such a thing as freedom, that those who believe in it are not naive but visionary, and that those who fight for it are not opportunists but courageous.

What is not right is that we do not realize that we need to take a risk, that like the Founding Fathers we are materially very comfortable and that like theirs, our liberties have eroded.

I know a lot of Americans feel patriotic. You say you fought in Vietnam or the first or second Iraq war or in Afghanistan. I know a lot of people patriotically supported our troops.

But those were wars of arrogance and greed. America was not threatened. We became a less free, greedier, more arrogant, more unhappy and more unhealthy nation following each of these wars.

Neither of these wars are something America should be proud of. We should feel ashamed of them.

There is another war we should feel ashamed of. It is the war against civil liberties which has been going on to a greater or lesser extent since the nation was founded. The war is usually waged by the federal government against the constitution.

Today a person cannot be stopped and beaten by police for being poor or not white. But when somebody puts their garbage can out for the next day’s pick up, it is legal for someone else to pilfer through the trash to obtrain the person’s discarded papers.

If an adult works with children, the adult fears being accused of a sex crime they did not committ, knowing the burden of proof is on them to prove their innocence not the accuser to prove guilt.

Each of these instances is unconstitutional. Our Founding Fathers valued privacy and they believed in innocence until guilt is proven.

It seems these issues follow upon our warmongering. For war breeds fear, suspicion, secrecy, spying, lies and the passion to destroy others.

We have feared and distrusted each other increasingly since Vietnam. We built more prisons in the 80s and 90s. Rape consciousness has been preached at the universities and in the media since the 80s.

Then, after the attacks in New York and Washington at the beginning of this century, my predecessors created and supported the Patriot Act. The act could not have passed if Americans had not accepted more prisons and believed that boys and men are to be feared not respected.

The act built upon and expanded our fear of each other. This is not the attitude that makes for a free nation or a great nation, but a foolish and cowardly nation.

When Thomas Paine wrote Common Sense he knew the timing was right for a rebellion because Americans had an enthusiastic rapport with one another. Now the timing is terrible for a rebellion against our police and surveillance state. We fear each other and envy each other.

But still there is hope. Our Founding Fathers believed that ordinary people can acquire and preserve freedom if they read and if they speak up.

Before the revolution, John Adams wrote, and I paraphrase: We colonists aren’t as free or happy as we used to be. We will speak up if directly confronted, but while we slowly lose our liberties we are too polite or afraid or embarrassed to say anything or write anything critical of England’s police state. But we must read and speak and write and take a big risk.

When I was elected I was thrilled because I felt there was a mandate that America wanted to be free and great and proud again. I have done my part.

My countrymen, you must speak. If you will not trust your neighbors or fellow citizens, at least trust yourself. Tell yourself you are tired of feeling shame and fear. Tell yourself you are being surveilled with a smile and it is slowly killing you.

America. Declare your independence.

Speak and write and demand and fight until you are not considered criminals and perverts and terroriosts, until you are once again free, until you have restored trust in yourself and reaffirmed your faith in each other.

Graffiti

INTERVIEWER: You continue to be a critic of our cities landscapes. People don’t
mind your criticisms of architecture. But they think you are off base and
beyond respectability when you support graffiti artists. You insist that
graffiti has merit. Why are you vehement in your support of graffiti?

MAN: I think my critics and I agree that graffiti is terribly important. They will
chuckle and say yes it is terrible. Yet, graffiti is a response to our terrible
architecture. I am vehement in my support of it because it startles me every time
I see it. It is the contemporary world’s great American art form. We refuse to
acknowledge that. We are afraid to.

INTERVIEWER: But it makes most people, at least adults, angry and afraid.
They consider it vandalism. They think the graffiti artists are criminals.

MAN: I think most architecture is a crime. I think the power advertisers have is
a crime. I can see where people get mad. Nobody wants their house spray
painted. Most graffiti is along freeways or on ugly walls of abandoned
buildings or new ugly ones. That is the point. Freeways are ugly. Underpasses
are ugly. Most buildings are ugly. Billboards are ugly.

INTERVIEWER: People think graffiti is ugly.

MAN: The murals popular in the eighties and first half of the nineties were
masterpieces. I don’t consider them beautiful but they were dynamic,
something architecture isn’t. Advertising isn’t beautiful. The murals were not
ugly they were threatening, just like the words sprayed around town today
are.

Think about how we are threatened by architecture and advertising.
Architecture is ugly. Most buildings feel terrible inside. Advertising
threatens us by making us feel we need more things and that we are not
good enough as we are.

People were angry and afraid because at work they were tight as a drum
and had to watch what they said. When they came out of work and saw
POW or TENSE written on a wall they were flabbergasted. They were
overpowered by the brightness and fluidity of the colors.

Imagine being in an office all day where your spirit is pulverized, then
coming out to see POW. You don’t want to be reminded that you’re
not bright and fluid like these colors, or to know that just one word
in an age of jabber can pack such a truthful wallop.

You know you don’t pack much of a punch at work. The rebellion
these kids have is something you haven’t had in a long time.

Imagine coming home on the bus looking out the window and
seeing TENSE. You do not want to be reminded how tense you
are, that there is nothing in your office to offset the tenseness
like there is the colors and sense of motion in that scary word.

Graffiti shows us the tension our cities need to be exciting
that does not exist in architecture and advertising. It’s good
people fear graffiti. What I don’t like is how they direct
their fear.

INTERVIEWER: You mean graffiti abatement squads?

MAN: Yes. That is the easiest thing to do. Get riled up and
denigrate the kids. Throw money into the anit-graffiti
task force.

INTERVIEWER: Well, doesn’t that build community?

MAN: No. Architecture, freeways, advertising destroy
community. Freeways divide neighborhoods. Skyscrapers
cast ugly uncomfortable shadows and make downtowns
tense without constructive tension. Advertising
encouraages people to be selfish. Selfishness is anti-
community.

Under freeways is a great place for graffiti. For one,
what harm can it do? It does not do any harm. All that
dark area that is so oppressive becomes filled with a
more terrifying brightness. But the brightness is scary
because it challenges us to be bright and vociferous,
to say that something is wrong and that we will be
bright even though our society is in effect an anti-
brightness culture and seeks to destroy brightness.

If graffiti is the dregs of American art, which it
isn’t, it is an inspiration for free spirits. But if it is,
what better place for it than under our freeways. We
have cars polluting our air on the freeway, then the
scary art under the freeway.

We have the brightest respectable minds creating
machines that suffocate us with their waste as well
as roads that destroy cities and spirits, opposed by
the brightest unrespectable minds saying we will
transform your creations into something exciting,
alive and challenging. We will not die inside like
everybody else. That’s the whole poiont of
graffiti – not to die inside.

There isn’t a lot of graffiti on skyscrapers. It’s
usually on walls without interest, abandoned
buildings, ugly offices. I like to talk about walls
because so many ugly walls exist in cities. Stop
and think about it. Freeway walls, parking lot walls,
warehouse wall.

All these ugly walls that developers and owners
are too cheap to build with imagination or to plant
vines on. There are all these ugly abandoned
buildings that owners are too cheap to maintain or
too selfish not to tear down and replace with plants
that are easy to grow and maintain until the land is
lucrative enought to sell or build upon.

It amazes me people oppose the selfishness of developers
and their corruption, but get madder at kids for creating graffiti-
which is a pro-active way to criticize ugly architecture and the
intent of our leaders to make money at the expense of a potentially
inviting city. I can see where people don’t like it. But getting rid of it
isn’t going to get rid of the ugly walls and architecure or billboards.

People don’t see that the kids are attempting to bring vitality to our
cities. It is not loud like traffic or gardening equipment. It doesn’t ask
you to buy anything like billboards. It fills in all the open space on
our ugly walls like developers fill in all our cities open space with
ugly and stifling buildings.

Another thing people do not see is that graffiti gets people’s minds
off all the commercial ugliness, which it’s supposed to do.
Developers like that. It gives them and the public something to
hate in common, whereas the graffiti guys and the public should
be allies. I remember a stretch of wall across from a business
along the railroad tracks. Whenever I would cross the tracks I’d
walk along the wall and look at the intensity. That was at the time
graffiti abatement began.

Then I crossed the track one day and the graffiti was gone. The
place looked sterile. It was ugly. An ugly blank wall across from
an ugly building divided by the ugly railroad track. There was
no alternative. There was no longer a reminder of what cities
need or could be. Worse than that, there wasn’t even a
respectable mural or an officially unimaginative mural
sponsored by the arts commission that would at least put
color into the wall.

They could have put up a black and white reproduction of the
old freight trains or painted a mural of a steam engine with
smoke coming out and the wheels cranking. They could have
painted roses on it for the Amtrak passengers to marvel at or
planted trumpet vine on the wall so the wall would be a riot
of color for five months.

What they did was make sure the kids couldn’t have it. That’s
a very selfish thing. So what these graffiti abatement efforts
do is get people pumped up. “We got those kids.” Or, “We’ll
get those kids.” If people really wanted to build a community
they could do something more challenging.

They could demand that business owners take down a-frame
signs and signs that project from the building over the
sidewalk. People could demand that new walls be installed
with murals so the kids wouldn’t have anything to cover.
People could say that all walls must be planted with a vine so
there is a nice feel to the wall. Or people could be imaginative
and tell the city, “If you don’t make government walls nice and
if you don’t require developers to make nice walls, we’re going
to paint our own murals and God help you if you abate our stuff.”

But fighting the powers-that-be is difficult. It is so difficult that
a community could really be constructed because of the
dedication, need and trust people would establish together and
the eventual awareness that the worst people are our leaders,
not the arrogant graffiti artists.

There are worse problems than graffiti though. The signs I
mentioned. Cars always parked on the street. Leaf blowers. Dogs
barking all day and all night.

The graffiti abatement effort is comical when you think about
it. I walked down a busy street where a guy was painting over
graffiti.

He was in his thirties, bicycling the neighborhood with
a can of silver spray paint. He had an unpleasant expression.
I saw him covering over the chicken scrawl, which I don’t
like, on one of those big silver signal boxes on the sidewalk.

Now those are pretty ugly. Across the sidewalk from the silver
box is a parking lot. Next to the parking lot is a typical
laundrymat. The laundrymat has another parking lot with no
trees. Next to the parking lot is a car wash. Next to the car
wash is a McDonald’s. That isn’t all. The street was being torn
up for the light rail project.

Next to the electrical box was a pile of dirt. There were
flatbeds all over. The green lawn that had been part of the
street divider was uprooted and yellow. There are the two ugly
drop bars from the railroad divider. Across the railroad tracks
is an ugly dry cleaners. Above the dry cleaners is a billboard.
It amazes me how blind people are and how desperate for
meaning people are. Nothing’s easier than being part of a
graffiti abatement squad.

INTERVIEWER: Did you say anything?

MAN: No.

INTERVIEWER: Why?

MAN: If we had fought he would have won. I would have
loved to say something, but I wouldn”t have been able to
stay calm. Even if I was able to stay calm, he probably
would have been offended. You’re right. If I can stay calm
I should tell people, especially if they are as blind and
angry as that guy.

INTERVIEWER: But why are those things you mentioned
worse than graffiti?

MAN: Store signs on the street block a clear view of
things. Just think how much better cities would look if signs
extending from buildings were removed.

Cars parked on the street all day and all night take away
from the attractiveness of nice houses and trees. Cars parked
on the street all night invite thieves. Think how much crime
would go down if people parked cars in a garage. Not only
would the theft of cars decrease, the police would have a
clearer view of the street so muggers and burglars couldn’t
hide as easily or park a gettaway car as easily.

Leaf blowers are bad for our mental health. It’s a sign of
our psychic numbness and lack of political courage that
graffiti is hated but people say that, “You can’t let a litle
noise bother you. Noise is everywhere.” When I say
“You can’t let the ugly graffiti bother you. It isn’t as ugly
as parking lots, billboards, store signs, strip malls,
freeways, telephone poles, street lamps and hundreds of
miles of ugly walls and acres and acres of ugly ware-
houses,” people are very offended.

Like I said, people hate graffiti because it is rebellious.
People tolerate leaf blowers because they don’t think
it’s that bad. I do. Think of all the people who’ve been
awakened by leaf blowers, how mad they get. Think of
all the people who are sitting in their back yard enjoying
their peace, only to be disrupted by a leaf blower. Think
of somebody who comes home mad, then when the leaf
blower comes on curses, “I can’t even relax when I am
not at work.”

Think of the woman having a bad day taking care of
her kids who screams at them to shut up as soon as
the leaf blower starts. Graffiti is a drop in the bucket
compared to leaf blowers. Leaf blowers destroy your
mental health. Graffit can bring it back, if you’ve got
the courage.

Barking dogs are even worse than leaf blowers. Talk
about community. If all the neighbors who had dogs
kept them quiet when a neighbor complained, there
would be no problem with barking dogs.

If people with pets told their neighbor “If the dog
barks when I’m gone, let me know,” there would be
no barking dog problem. People lose tremendous
amounts of sleep over barking dogs. It lowers their
resistance to disease. It causes them to have driving
accidents, to do poorly at work. It increases marital
problems.

INTERVIEWER: We’ve been talking about
neighorhood groups and graffiti abatement. We’re
talking about politics. What you are talking about
are people without a voice attempting to be heard.

MAN: Yes. It amazes me that all the groups fighting
for the rights of minorities and the right for free
expression do not come to the rescue of graffiti
artists. All the arts groups trying to make art part of
the community are silent when it come to graffiti.

Look at what graffiti does. It gives kids something
to do they are passionate about. It covers up ugly
buildings that are a blight on the city and the
neighborhood.

Arts commissions say nothing to oppose graffiti
abatement. They are too stupid or too afraid to
realize and say we’ve had great public art since
1983. It did not cost the city anything. Now the
city is spending money on graffiti removal that
could be used for something else.

These bureaucratic cowards will not admit that these
graffiti artists are the visionaries and rebels. These
kids have the talent and the daring. These unkown
souls make a mark with their art, and inspire me more
than most famous contemporary artists.

I keep waiting for a city or museum or college to have
a Graffiti Appreciation week or month. The title could
be Living Your Truth as an Artist, Creating Dynamic
Cities, Questioning the Staus Quo. All these topics are
characteristics artists and arts groups claim to have and
value, but they won’t support their graffiti brothers.

It’s interesting that you got me talking about politics.
Here in America we’re supposed to be a democracy.
Economists and republicans refer to a democracy as a
‘trickle down’ system.

Yet in this democracy we do not want graffiti artists to
have even a trickle of a voice. Their free speech is too
challenging.

People say but it’s private property, that no one should
mark it. Well, nobody should build ugly buildings.
Freeways are public. If they are ugly they need to be
marked as ugly. It’s a great play on tagger. They tag
these walls as ugly.

I might not be able to convince people about the
greatness of graffiti, but I might be able to convince
them of the power of ugly buildings to make you feel
lousy. I lived in a neighborhood with a lot of Queen
Anne homes and Craftsman homes. There were also
a lot of cheap stucco apartments and office buildings
with no character.

Whenever I did not feel well as I walked home, I
felt worse on a street with all stucco apartments
from the nineteen sixties. Then when I got to a
street with a lot of old wooden homes, I felt better.
Now think of when you’re in a good mood. You
walk by the ugly buildings fast and confidently,
then you oooh and ahhh and smell the roses when
you get to the street with wooden houses.

Suppose you had to spend a year in jail and you had
two choices – a blank wall or a wall with graffiti
from 1987. What would you take? You’d take the
wall with graffiti if for no other reason than the
color would make things less bad.

I think we are in jail psychically and spiritually, but
we are afraid to admit that graffiti brings our city to
life and challenges us to think how ugly our cities
are and how ugly we feel. So we don’t want someone
to have a freedom we don’t have.

If we were adults, if we were mature, we would tell
the kids “Go ahead and spray these ugly walls. Our
leaders built these ugly cities for you to grow up in.
We adults by our silence gave our approval. You
deserve a chance to free your spirit and make our
cities dynamic.”

So it is not democracy because a group with some-
thing to say isn’t allowed to have power. There is
no example of trickle down here. Bsinessmen get
to build buildings that are ugly to look at and
creepy to be in, not to mention all the money they
make. The graffiti artists who work for free beaut-
ifying our cities have their work painted over and
receive fines and jail time. They are not allowed
to have a trickling of influence.

INTERVIEWER: But their influence was
tremendous. That’s why it was opposed so
vehemently.

MAN: I already explained that it was opposed
because graffiti artiists are an easy group to rebel
against while developers and advertisers are
difficult to rebel against. Nobody is going to
rebel against the way they feel when they are in
their ugly office without a window or good light
or ventilation.

They fear losing their job and being laughed at by the
people they work with. If they rebel against advertising
they will be labeled unamerician or socialistic.

Graffiti’s lack of influence is shown by the fact it is a
movement that can’t punish those who oppose it, nor
defend itself. People’s choice to oppose graffiti to feel
empowered is power used to fight the powerless.

INTERVIEWER: But parents fear the influence graffiti
has over children. Parents do not want their children be-
coming vandals or joining gangs.

MAN: There would be few gangs if our society did not
place money as its most important value. Most poor kids
wouldn’t join gangs if they had money and opportunity.
Middle class kids wouldn’t join gangs if they were not
bored by the emphasis on money and the boring ugly
world it creates. That doesn’t mean the kids oppose money.

Parents think graffiti is vandalism. I don’t. I think tearing
out a row of Victorians for a parking lot is vandalism. I
think removing a mile of houses to build a freeway is
vandalism.

There is vandalism in the destruction and the new ugly creations.
Graffiti is not destroying anything. It’s covering what is ugly and
creating something better.

It’s odd that nobody would mind their kid being a developer who
builds ugly despiriting buildings. Nobody would mind if their kid
became an advertising executive who created the best ads
encouraging people who can’t afford to spend to spend. Nobody
would mind if their kid became a military recruiter at the high
school. Imagine an adult encouraging a sixteen year old to be a
killer.

INTERVIEWER: But all of these things provide an income and
are legal.

MAN: Then that is okay if a parent says don’t be a graffiti artist
because you won’t get anywhere. Most people who try to become
land developers fail. The same with advertising. People join the
military because there are few options. When they leave the
military they do not get great jobs.

People make a moral issue out of graffiti. I make a moral issue out
of architecture, city planning, advertising and the military.

Even when I hated graffiti, I did not hate it as much as architecture
or advertising. I knew developers would never build buildings I
feel good in or like to look at. Their feeling is, “I’m not responsible
for your mental or spiritual health.”

I know advertisers intend to make me feel inadequate and to
create needs and fantasies I never had that I have to pay for and
work longer in a horrible building to pay for. Advertisers say
“We’re not forcing you to buy anything.” That is a lie. They are
ramming consumerism down our throats so we think consuming
is natural.

What adults don’t realize is making people depressed or feel they
aren’t good enough is immoral. Developers and advertisers are
immoral. They influence everybody constantly.

What graffiti artists are saying is “Wake up!” You could look at
it another way if you ae concerned about children. You can call
graffiti a response to child abuse. I say response rather than
reaction.

Reaction is mainly destruction – like breaking windows. In fact,
if the kids who sprayed graffiti murals broke windows, all the
adults would be relieved. The reaason the adults would be
relieved is because they could call the kids stupid for not
appreciating what they have here in America.

Graffiti artists aren’t stupid. That is why they threaten adults.
Yet graffiti artists don’t have the backing to create some-
thing as powerful as miles and miles of ugly walls, suburbs
and office buildings, or billions of dollars of advertising.

So these graffiti artists are responding to child abuse
creatively, arrogantly, and with as much planning as their
risky job allows. Yet their arrogance and creativity is no
comparison to the arrogance and lack of creativity of
developers or the arrogance and socially destructive
creativity of advertisers, or the arrogance of recruiters to
con teenagers. Talk about child abuse.

Graffiti artists are saying “We are concerned about your
spiritual and mental health. If you fear us. Wake up. Our
cities are incredibly ugly. If you are inspired by us to sing
your own song, we are proud to help you keep going or
get started.

Not only are they responding to the child abuse against
them, they are an example of doing something about a
problem you do not like. Think about it. If a group of
minors went to City Hall or the Chamber of Commerce
and said we oppose pornography; cigarettes; drugs; alcohol;
gangs and rap music, the members of the council would be
proud of our kids.

The headline the next morning would show the kids
representative shaking hands with the mayor while all the
City Council members smiled. The weekly business paper
would have the lead editorial praising our young people.
The monthly business magazine would run a piece talking
about the huge asset our very fine young people are to the
future of our city’s economy.

But if a group of minors went to the City Council and
the Chamber of Commerce and said our architecture needs
to be torn down because it depresses them, that a great
way to deal with depression for people of all ages is to
change our architecture; that we young people fear
advertising is making us greedy and selfish like land
developers, that we do not want to spend the rest of our
lives being deceived, greedy, selfish, and we don’t want
to deceive our kids either, so advertising needs to be
banned; that we think it is an outrge for the military to
be on campus without showing us footage of war and
boot camps, the kids would be considered a threat.

They would not be praised for participating in
democracy. They would not be admired for having
youthful courage or daring. They would not be
praised for speaking up for what they believe in. They
would not be praised for trying to correct injustices.
They would not be praised for fighting for freedom.

INTERVIEWER: Wow.

MAN: Yes. They would receive no media coverage.
If they said that graffiti murals are a saving act in a
selfish society, every young person at the meeting
would have his photograph taken off the film of the
meeting and sent to the Gang and Graffiti Depart-
ment of the police.

Another way to look at it is if the ugly walls on
freeways and the ugly warehouses and empty
buildings were not marked up by graffiti, then
our society would be silently saying we approve.
Graffiti shows that somebody is not duped, that
somebody is trying to be healthy.

Graffiti artists are implying they will make
themselves healthy and will challenge the rest
of us to make ourselves healthy. They are saying
“We don’t care if you like it. You need to get
healthy.”

Land developers build their horrible buildings
without concern abouot people’s health or feelings.
Graffiti artists are following the example of our
best and brightest.

INTERVIEWER: But there is no money in it. It
is also dangerous.

MAN: That isn’t how I look at it. These guys are
young. Obviously they will lose interest in art in
order to go to work, or they will lose interest in
graffiti and pursue commercial art. Maybe they
will work and keep doing graffiti.

If you are talking about discipline and motivation,
they have plenty of that. They have more discipline
and motivation than most people.

What is wrong with graffiti is that it requires a lot
of imagination and passion. Most jobs don’t have
that. Another problem is that there is no money in
it. Graffiti artists are proud of working for free
and being anonymous. If they told their parents,
“Okay, I will become a rock star and make all
that money,” their parents would be disgusted.
The kids can’t win.

It is especially important to live your love,
truth and passion now that there is no job security.
If a graffiti artist said he’ll go to work for a
graphics company, he could be fired for
harassment or in a merger.

We want people to conform but we offer them
no guarantee for their conformity. So somebody
gives up their truth to play somebody else’s
game. He loses self-respect because he sold out,
then got fired. The people who encouragd him to
stop singing his song to sing karaoke like them
won’t have anything to do with him. They’ll say
don’t blame them.

Passion is what graffiti is about. It’s a contemp-
orary form of passion. But let me go back to there
being no money in it.

We all know jobs become less secure. We know
the rich get richer. I remember reading a history of
Mexico. The author said in Mexico people make
everything they touch beautiful. They are artists.

That’s how I perceive graffiti. It makes our cities
lively, giving people something to do, allowing
people to be expressive. We don’t want people
being passionate or expressive when they are working.
We don’t want people who are unemployed marking
up the ugly walls of our cities. These guys are bringing
enrichment to their lives. Work doesn’t do that.

People say to artists generally, what will you do when
you are older? They also say start good habits when you
are young. I think responding to an ugly world when
you are young is a great habit to develop.

When graffiti artists work in an office they can paint
flowers on the ugly white wall. If they live in a neigh-
borhood that has billboards, they can plant vines on the
billboards to take away from the ugliness.

If they are successful they can donate money for public
restrooms, drinking fountains and benches so people
can rest.

INTERVIEWER: And look at the ugly buildings you do
not like.

MAN: You got me there. But what will they do when
when they are old? Most people are broke. What will
the people who hate their jobs do when they are
older? They will feel they worked so hard and have
little money.

We should be telling kids to take advantage of their
youth, to rebel while they can. One can say if they
pursue art and rebellion the kids won’t be able to
work in the everyday world, but that doesn’t mean
they won’t go nuts if they do not rebel.

Graffiti or any rebellious art will force one to deal
with the world as best he can as he gets older, to
face himself when he realizes the world is getting
worse but he has no money to live on to avoid
working or avoid living in the street. He’ll either
accept himself or the world, or he’ll figure out
how to make a living. If he ever gets a good job
he can relish his success.

INTERVIEWER: Or he can know he sold out.

MAN: True. But at least he took advantage of his
youth. We haven’t talked about the danger yet. If
a kid’s in a gang he could get shot painting over
someone’s graffiti. A kid could trip over some-
thing in the dark. He could get shot for
trespassing. He could go to jail or get fined.

Kids have always lived dangerously. Look at
all the boys who ruined their legs playing foot-
ball. All the suicides today. All the drunk driving
accidents. All the shotgun marriages. Aids. Drug
addiction, The military. At least graffiti is
creative.

It is also defiant. A lot of people think pop
music is defiant, but it isn’t because the musicians
are mainly interested in the money. Any difiance
is offset by the money the company makes.

Defiance is all right if it contributes to the
economy. Think of how much rap has contributed
to the economy. How much money stockholders
in the recording industry, stereo industry and
fashion industry make from rap.

Graffiti is a threat because it says “Just say no”
to conformity. Just Say No would look great on
a wall.

Graffiti is a threat because it does not contribute to
the economy, although I’m sure paint sales have
gone up. Graffiti artists are a threat because they
know making money is not the most important
thing. I think that is a great philosophy for a
young person to have. You don’t hear that from
an adult. Everyone wants their kid to be number
one.

We’re in a quandry as a society. We always
praise the entrepreneur who takes a risk. We
risk our sanity getting a PHD or being an
executive. We risk being broke the rest of our
life when we work a low end job. All of those
risks are all right because they are part of the
system.

A graffiti artist takes a risk of sooner or later
realizing he has all this talent he isn’t getting
paid for, that he can’t take photographs of his
work to use on a resume. In an age which
prides itself on choice, his choice doesn’t
count because he chooses to sing his own
song.

We don”t want kids singing their own song.
That’s the adult way of saying we aren’t
willing to listen, that we can’t possibly be
wrong, that someone young and dumb can’t
possibly be more talented than us, that some-
one young and dumb cannot see what’s
wrong with society.

I remember an accomplished working adult
artist saying graffiti artists are talented but
they need to go on to more serious stuff.
What she meant was they should stop doing
graffiti and become another Rembrandt or
Vermeer or Michelangelo or Da Vinci. She
missed the points of graffiti though, and
makes me wonder if she sees their vision and
conviction as much as their talent.

Apparently she doesn’t see very much. It’s a
juvenile art form in a juvenile culture created
by juveniles criticizing our ugly cities that
are created by juvenile politicians, bankers
and developers.

These seventeen year olds are visionaries –
not marketers, advertisers, retailers. Even
though it’s a youthful art form, it is serious
stuff. They aren’t messing around. They are
as determined to be heard as developers are
to be heard, get rich and have power.

People take graffiti artists seriously and
would kill them if we could. It might come
to that as our country becomes more fearful
of terrorists and considers anyone who does
not comform a threat.

The woman I’m talking about can’t expect
someone to be another Rembrandt. What
she doesn’t understand is there are no
mentors doing adult stuff, like religious
or mystical art, for the kids to move on to.

If the kids are going to move on to art
that reflects their experiences as they get
older, they will have to create it without
help from the previous generation. Any
great spiritual or mysticial or poetic or
healing art won’t happen, and even if it did,
it would probably not be accepted because
people can’t take the time to think or feel.

Whenever people try to get kids to direct
their artistic talent away from graffiti, they are
telling the kids not to think or feel, that what
the kids are thinking and feeling when they do
graffiti is wrong.

That would be all right if the jobs we got paid
well and made us trust one another, but they
do not pay well and make us suspicious and
envious of one another. When adults try to
get kids on the right track by getting them
away form graffiti, the adults are saying don’t
trust yourself, trust us. Graffiti artists are saying
“We put our trust in adults but adults abused it.
We are going to sabotage the stifling adult
landscape.”

Whenever I pass a high school I observe the
murals the kids painted under the supervision
of the art instructors. If any paintings need the
graffiti abatement squad, these are it. There is
no passion, no daring, no intensity, conviction
or meaning.

INTERVIEWER: A lot of people feel that way
about our educational system.

MAN: They are right. Graffiti art is serious art.
By encouraging kids to do safe uncontroversial
art that doesn’t offend adults, adults are saying
don’t take school seriously. Go along to get
along. The message is do not take your passion
seriously.

INTERVIEWER: And…

MAN: And this is what school is all about –
teaching people for the working world, more
as social conditioning than skill learning.

INTERVIEWER: What do you want schools to do?

MAN: I expect them to tell about the dangers of
advertising. After they tell the students that graffiti
is disrespectful and a crime against property, and
that graffiti could be gang related, they need to say
that advertising is even more disrespectful because
it tells you to be something you are not and buy
things that you can’t afford and go into debt for.

Schools need to say that companies spend billions
of dollars researching with the help of psychologists
to separate people from their money. They need to
tell the students that it is interesting that schools
cannot afford psychologists to help kids stay or
become healthy, but companies and advertisers
use psychologists to find out what will make
people be afraid and selfish.

If schools are not going to criticize advertising,
they shouldn’t criticize graffiti. Schools should
admit that graffiti is a form of rebellion and the
rebellion is understandable.

What needs to be told to the kids is that there
is validity in rebellion. Are you man enough to
pay the price? After you are twenty-one and
you’ve expressed all that you can with graffiti,
will you become a land developer and make
attractive cities? Will you become an official who
pushes a law that all additions and improvements
to one’s property can be deducted from your
adjusted gross income? Will you volunteer to
plant stuff in your neighborhood. Will you fight
for strict building codes? Will you pay the fines of
young graffiti artists? Will you fight to get rid of
graffiti abatement squads?

INTERVIEWER: But can schools come out and
say continue to do graffiti until adults get the
message?

MAN: Schools are not respected.
Schools should say to city councils and
chambers of commerce that “You guys build ugly
cities. You can’t criticize kids for spray painting
them. You guys never stop whining or manipulating.
Who are you to blame the kids? Hire these kids as
part of your art in public places crew.”

INTERVIEWER: But is this realistic?

MAN: If you mean is this going to happen? No. Is it
realistic? Criticizing the powers that be is certainly
realistic.

Schools should do that and explain to parents who don’t
like graffiti that the kids are only mimicking the bad
taste of developers and the aggressiveness of advertisers.
What would cause a problem is hiring graffiti artists to
work for someone else. Most of them could not adapt to
following someone else’s rules.

Schools wouldn’t get the respect of the public, but they
would get a lot of the kids’ respect. I do not mean
popularity, because the kids know the principal or board
would be taking a terrible risk. There are other things
the schools could say.

INTERVIEWER: Go on.

MAN: They could talk about the creativity and imagination
that the kids put into the work. “We should be proud of our
students for their imagination and their refusal to accept
our ugly adult world. Our developers, architects and city
planners should be ashamed of themselves.”

INTERVIEWER: Isn’t this too sophisticated for kids and
adults?

MAN: Probably. But so is globalization. It is probably
harder and takes more sophistication for adults to see my
arguments than for kids to hear an economics instructor
explain it is better for the economy if business is financed
by many sources rather than just banks. Why have all our
economy’s lending money in one basket? That’s easier for
kids to understand than adults understanding my claims
that graffiti is a reaction to our ugly cities and is no more
selfish than what land developers do.

Even if it is too sophisticated for kids, kids need to be
told how ugly our cities are and what a con and how
selfish advertisers are. I’m aware some kids won’t under-
stand how ugly their world is, but others know it and need
to have it affirmed.

Maybe they will be inspired to change the world in their
constructive way like graffiti artists change the world in a
constructive way. When some students get older and try
to figure out what is wrong with their life, they might re-
call their high school teacher who told them the world is
ugly. The former student will realize that a lot of what is
wrong with him is not his fault, that part of his angst is a
battle against ugliness.

Since kids love to shop so much, they will have the
hardest time with accepting the dangers of advertising.
After all, ads are sexy and the music is great. But they
need to hear it. Kids need to have adults tell them that
certain things are bad.

INTERVIEWER: But what about kids who don’t like
graffiti?

MAN: That’s fine. But they need to hear that if you
think homeboys or graffiti artists are con-artists, the
adults with political power are much worse.

INTERVIEWER: Any more thoughts?

MAN: I don’t want to end with us talking about the kids
who don’t like graffiti.They are not going to be treated
any better at work because they oppose it. Graffiti is
about freedom and having a voice.

INTERVIEWER; What is more important: to have cities
that make us feel good or have ugly cities where graffiti
is tolerated?

MAN: Having cities where people feel good. Part of feeling
good in a city is safety. Even if crime ended tomorrow, our
cities are still too ugly to circulate in. Our cities would still
make us feel uncomfortable with one another, if not
fearful of one another.

If we had attractive cities and no crime, we would feel
great in them. We would be able to cultivate metaphysical
freedom in a city with little crime and with a sense of
beauty. Of course if we did not have political freedom to
circulate and sit around, a crime free and beautiful city
might make us feel worse than a city with crime and
ugliness.

INTERVIEWER: When you say metaphysical do you
mean God?

MAN: Yes. Graffiti sends a message that our cities have
gone to hell. It’s telling people to be bright like God, to
be fluid like a god, to face their cowardice at work like a
hero.

INTERVIEWER: That isn’t going to happen.

MAN: So I will continue to praise graffiti and challenge
people to face their fear.

INTERVIEWER: You are an inspiration for us.

MAN: Good.

Stowe lake – russians

Russians walk around lake in the fog

Enduring our summer chill

Making me shiver over who they saw killed

On days bleak like this

By a leader they thought was God.

Mornin’ afta

Hung over again

We shiver in the wind.

Surveying the splendor of this city,

Knowing we betrayed its beauty,

Corrupted its freedom.

Slaves to our lust,

We still cannot rise to the occasion:

It isn’t about us

No eye contact

Freedom has always been the most important ideal to me. I lusted to be free when I was young. I loved the wide-open spaces. I loved the anonymity of cities. I loved the freedom of movement in America. I loved America.

Now I feel unfree. I do not feel anonymous. I am not anonymous. I am not free to wander. There are cameras and microphones everywhere. Most people fear strangers. I am looked upon suspiciously. I no longer love America.

There was an article in the New York Times about Muslim women who had emigrated to Europe or Great Britain. One of the women said, ”Every time I visit Morocco, I feel and see more freedom than here in the West.”

I do not know Europe, so I will substitute America for the West.

Maybe in Morocco there is not a security guard outside every office building, or security cameras in every building. I would be surprised if there isn’t. Maybe in Morocco everyone does not need a badge to get into work, but I am sure that they do. A lot of people, especially women, like having security badges, security personnel and surveillance cameras. It makes them feel safe.

Do Moroccans have to get fingerprinted and go through a background check before being hired? Do they have to do those things even if they do volunteer work?

Are Moroccans told “Our neighbors are watching you.”? Are there public sevice messages saying to report suspicious looking people to the police – we have to protect the children? Oh yes the children.

Do Moroccans fear being accused of child abuse for spanking their brat? If a man smiles at a child or talks to a child in Morocco, does he worry about being called a pervert?

Does everybody in Morocco feel that they are being fucked, that they have the right to sue somebody because they tripped over the bicycle of that person’s child?

Outside apartment houses in Morroco, are there boxes with a key to the building so the police can enter – to keep Moroccans safe? Are there motion detectors everywhere in Morocco? Are Moroccans scared shitless of everyone and everything? Do they fear night time? Are they people just like us?

I hope not.

Can you pee in Morocco without having to buy something? Do Moroccan cities have benches, drinking fountains, picnic tables with umbrellas?

The woman is right. We are not free in America. We refuse to admit it. You cannot have a beer and a cigarette in a park, but the troops are fighting for our freedom.

I will rewrite the woman’s quote:

Every time I go outside,
I feel less free and see less freedom.

Courage to shine

In this age of fear,
Rise to the occasion.
Smile at strangers.
Put terror in the hearts of fascists who hate to see you loose, free, trusting, fearless.

Incite those who hate good will.
Say If you don’t smile at me, don’t lust for strangers’ eyes – you ain’t free. Do not destroy my shine.

You don’t shine Sacramento.
The great flag above our glorious capitol flies in vain.
You fear yourself, your neighbor, everyone, everything.

All the monuments in this park Sacramento. You disgrace them.
Those guys didn’t die so you could cower.

Get pissed off.
Say you are ill from having everything beautiful in you destroyed.
Say you realize the damage you do to the hearts of your fellow citizens when you fear them,
When you let them know their freedom and good will is not welcome.

Think about it Sactoh!
We destroy each others’s hearts.
It’s all on film –
Secure little you walking through huge solid doors at the capitol.
Little men, little women failing to attain greatness,
Eagerly saying oh yes we can’t be too scrutinized,
Afraid to say this is neither a great nation, a great state, a great city, or a great people.

What do you dream about?
I’ve never heard anyone say freedom is more important than money.
I’ve never seen anyone on the west steps in the sun reading Whitman, vowing to be godlike.
I’ve never heard anyone updating Thomas Paine saying
It’s unnatural to have security cameras everywhere. They must come down.
Those who put them up must be deposed. Are you with me!

You are filed with shame but for the wrong reasons.
You are meant to be beautiful America!
Sacramento! With your weather, your rivers, this grand capitol, these inspiring grounds
You should lead this nation on its’ path to being beautiful and free,
Of having the greatest men and greatest women that ever walked the earth.

We are an extraordinarily ugly people.
I dare you to be free.
Walk around the park.

Salivate over oranges and tangerines golden and sweet, with no edges.
Isn’t that a combination to strive for?

Sit on a bench under these magnolias, lusting over their sensuous roots,
Going mad with passion,
Promising to restore everything that’s been lost when you get home.

You need help. Go to Father Serra. Kneel. Confess your cowardice, your selfishness,
Your refusal to be true to America. Ask father to bless you,
So you dare to risk yourself to be free like he risked himself for others’ salvation.

Stop at the bathroom. Smell the disgusting homeless. Look at how ugly they are.
They personify the hearts of the people who run this country,
The people who love to see you weak and fearful. When you piss,
Tell yourself you’re releasing all the fear that makes you a little man.

After peeing, stop at the olive tree. It used to be the greatest tree in the park;
Just like we used to be the greatest nation and the greatest state.

See the bamboo. Watch its’ soothing light. Imagine how beautiful the jungle is.
How magnificent a jungle night must sound with crickets and all its’ tropical birds.

When you get to the Vietnam Memorial, think of young men screaming in quick sand,
reaching for their buddies hand; all so you could satisfy every selfish desire,
And give unquestioning assent to more cops and more jails.
Are you embarrassed? Ashamed? Have you ever told a young person patriotism is horseshit,
That if he can go to another country to murder,
He can’t complain when someone rapes his mother or girlfriend?

Peace. This is your greatest challenge! There are soothing black benches in this oasis from glory.
Feel their curve as fountain’s water soothes you and the overwhelming capitol imposes itself on you.
Make peace with yourself. Invite your former friends, telling them you apologize;
Begging them to apologize. Invite your friends. Tell them to ponder the noble white capitol,
The beauty and peace of these roses. Look at them.
Tell them you plan to make yourself free and beautiful,
To inspire other people to pull themselves and the nation out of darkness.
Tell them you love America, but this is no country for lovers and it kills you.
Smell roses with them. Ask them if they cry more as they get older.

As you wander to your next station, stop and look at the hydrangeas on 14th.
A great place to read in seclusion,
Arming yourself with courage to face the onslaught of conformity that makes America shameful.

Now you’re at the Korean War Memorial; the most profound of our monuments;
The cracked obelisk symbolizing the crack that began America’s decline.
But instead of photographs of the soldiers, imagine photographs of America’s prisons and prisoners,
Our lobbies filled with security guards, malls filled with bored kids,
Scared women hurrying white-faced to their car,
You looking at the ground because you fear to look at people because they worry you’re a
criminal, a rapist, and a pervert.
America hates crime but loves to live in fear.
You haven’t done a thing but you feel like shit don’t you?
All the space that this monument takes up used to be beautiful.

While you’re here and since it’s winter, look toward L Street.
You’ve got a clear view of the firefighter’s monument,
Our heroes who would hose you down the street if you questioned the Patriot Act.

Good thing there’s a God. Across the street is the Presbyterian church. Sit on the lawn.
Look at the palm trees. Ask yourself what God thinks of you.
All God wants is for you to feel free or godly or to suffer trying to be one or the other.
You suffer but you aren’t noble.

Look at those pigeons on the roof of the church. You feel peace when they whoosh away.
Wouldn’t you love to instill the same feeling in others as you move along the street
reflecting God’s beauty?

Be proud and humble. Stroll to the shiny white capitol.
Let yourself be stunned by its’ unembarrassed glorification of perfection.

Have the courage Socrates and Jesus did to believe in perfection; to be godly at work,
At home, and with strangers.

Kneel again. Ask God to help you be as great as your talent allows; so when you die,
You rise to heaven on grand clouds above the capitol, escorted by pigeons.

For now, walk to the west steps, your knees muddy. Take off your shoes,
Walk on the concrete. When your colleagues pass,
Force them to look at you after they turned away.
Tell them you never knew the burden of freedom that it means to be an American until today.
When they scoff, allow yourself to cry.
Think of how many times Socrates and Jesus cried over the corruption of their nation’s principles.

You’re almost finished. Go to 10th Street. Turn around. Look at the capitol in silence.
Now go to 9th Street and look at it. In front of you is a huge fountain.
On each side is a proud building.
One building has an inscription – Into the highlands of the mind let me go.
The other inscription reads – Send me men to match my mountains.

Put your shoes on.

It’s time to shine.

Even if it kills you.

Friday, April 20

Dear Jim,

I’m sitting outside at the coffee shop I always wrote to you from last year. Now with nice days like today, I will be coming here more.

I wonder if you would have gone to coffee shops to study theology and read poetry? I wonder if we would have met at any to philosophize?

If we did, I don’t know what you would order. You would probably get bottled water or juice. You would sit on the sunny side of the table with your visor and lotion on your nose. I would sit on the shady side wearing my ski cap and having a hot chocolate.

Neither of us wore sunglasses when we were young, but you would probably be wearing them now like I do. When I picture you in sunglasses, it doesn’t seem right. They would cover your longing eyes.

We both criticized people in sunglasses because we thought they were trying to be cool. Now I look like the people I never liked.

Coffee shops are one of the changes of the last forty years that I approve of. I definitely take advantage of them.

Usually when I come here I read the paper, then comment to you about an article. Today there was a real short one. 500 Central American immigrants are fleeing their country to come here. They are taking a freight train from Guadalajara to the United States. It didn’t say where they would end up.

It’s incredible how many people try to escape from Central America or leave Mexico to come here. They hop freight trains, but there are no open box cars or empty flat cars like when you used to ride or I used to ride.

People sit on running boards. They get knocked off by branches. They fall when they lose their balance or miss a rung.

When they leave the train they get beaten and robbed by gangs. Girls get raped. The police beat them too, then send them back to Central America.

I’m listening to an audio book in Spanish about a Honduran boy who left home to come to America to find his mother. He rode the freight train but got caught and sent back to Honduras six times. On the seventh try he made it to the U. S.

I’ve always loved the romance of America’s freight trains. I loved the freedom they gave me. But there is nothing romantic about ten or more people sitting on a running board in the sun, wind, and rain becoming ill and not having anywhere to pee or poop.

The people who survive and make it to the U. S. probably have great memories of beautiful scenery and peaceful starry nights like I do, but they were looking to become politically and economically free, while I wanted to see the country and avoid working at a soul killing job.

It’s terrifying that kids leave Central America to escape gangs, then get beaten in Mexico by Mexican gangs and Mexican police, then worry about getting arrested when they cross the border into America. I wonder what it feels like to be scared shitless all the time, then end up in this soulless country of ours? ”I went through all that for this?”

I miss you Jim. I wish you were here to take a trip with. We could go to Hungary, Prague, Poland, Russia looking for something real, looking for our roots.

I don’t know what we would find. Maybe somewhere in Russia there is still the great Russian soul.

That’s it for now.

Love,

Dave

Sunday, March 18

Dear Jim,

It’s funny weather – overcast. It reminds me of The City.

I’ve been thinking a lot about The City. I want to go there so bad, but it scares me.

Yesterday I looked at a San Francisco travel guide. I wrote down the names of the major streets between Van Ness, Market, and the bay. I want to walk all the ones running north to south.

The other way, Sacramento Street, would be daunting even if I were young. So I won’t try to walk many of the east to west streets. It would be stupid to try to do it now. If I did, I probably would not be able to walk again.

We Vaszko’s are walkers. Mom and I are the weakest. You and I did the most walking, then dad when he retired. Walking was part of your identity and mine. I had a great walk, but now I don’t wobble or waddle or whatever I did as much as I used to.

I think the reason I want to walk in The City is to feel like I accomplished something and went somewhere. When I walk in Sacramento I keep track of how far I walk, but that is only to make sure I don’t get too far out of shape. I usually don’t feel like I accomplished anything, and I don’t feel like I have gone anywhere, unless I walk to the river after a big storm in a rainy winter to watch the logs float down and to gawk at how wide the river has gotten.

Walking is as much a part of my identity as a car is to the identity of people who drive. If and when they lose their car or their license, they feel like they are not free, that they are not a man anymore.

When my legs go out, I will not be free. I will feel very small, like life isn’t worth living anymore, that God has destroyed the legs that carried my incredible passion for him.

God I love to walk. Being confined here in Sacramento, I need the vistas and rhythm of San Francisco. Up one hill, stop, a great view. Up another hill, a different view. Go down a hill, a different rhythm. I need to do something great like this while I still can, to be inspired not just by a great view in a great city, but because I struggled up a hill and feel proud.

I can see where San Francisco gets it’s air of superiority. If you can walk up all those cold windy hills, you are tough and you can toot your horn. But just because you walk up all the hills with great views doesn’t mean you can act as if you are the one who created them. But that’s human nature.

One of the attractions of walking in downtown San Francisco is that north of Market, the streets have names not numbers. You see the early heroes – Washington, Jackson, Clay and the later heroes – Polk, Taylor, Grant. Plus Geary and Green – the local heroes.

San Francisco had the imagination and patriotism to name it’s streets after great men. It had a sense of destiny about itself and the nation. Sacramento wasn’t a city of dreamers and did not feel a sense of destiny about itself. It was very patriotic, but naming all it’s downtown streets by letters and numbers didn’t give magic to the city.

The guy who was a dreamer was Sutter. He was in Sacto before it was a city but he failed in his dream. Even so, there’s a hospital, middle school, and gentlemens club named after him.

He was a great dreamer and a great failure. He helped others get started on their dream, so he was a great inspirer. He got old young, like a lot of us have.

A very human man. Sacramento should have named one of it’s major streets after him, honoring him as the original dreamer who got thousands of other dreamers to come to California. Only rather than get old young like Sutter did, thousands died young from chasing their foolish dream.

Sutter was a man of great selfishness, vision, foolishness, and generosity. So he is great for young people to study. How could he refuse to support his family but help hundreds of strangers? Do you lie to get what you want? Will you abuse your power? Will your dream make for a better world like Sutter thought his would?

Sutter took advantage of Indians. Will you invest in 3rd World sweatshops? How do you think Sutter felt having his land stolen and swindled from him? If you fail in your dream, what will you do? If you succeed, will you be happy?

Remember when we went to Sutter’s Fort in the eighties and we were full of wonder? I remember you saying it must have smelled terrible when all the dirty travelers slept in the same room passing gas.

I don’t think Sutter fills too many people with wonder. The focus is on destroying Sutter by calling him a racist. So if there is ever a time when people want to rename the hospital or middle school, I will fight it. He helped a lot of people and was such an extraordinary man, he should be remembered not forgotten.

I’m glad San Francisco named a street after him. It appreciated his daring-do. He was by nature more of a San Franciscan than a Sacramentan.

One of the reasons I haven’t gone to visit The City since dad has been in a rest home is because it would not be fair to him. I hardly ever visit him so I shouldn’t be going to San Francisco unless I visit him all the time. You would probably go every week, even without a car.

Another reason I haven’t gone to walk in The City is I’m not sure my legs will hold up. It would shame me knowing I can’t do it anymore – all this beauty but I can’t glory in it. I want to make peace with the city I never felt part of, even though it is beautiful. But if I can’t walk in it, I will have to make peace with myself in a different way.

You know how when we talked about religion you often talked about forgiveness? Well, I was thinking about forgiving San Francisco for it’s pretension, for it’s refusal to make an eccentric like me feel welcome in a city that used to be known for great characters, but since the fifties is known for people making a spectacle of themselves.

I will stand at Powell and California, then walk up to the hotels. I’ll look over the city Tony Bennett loved. I’ll try to forgive The City, then I’ll beg it, ”Let me feel like you are mine.”

I have always wondered why there was so much drinking in San Francisco. Why do you need to get loaded in a city that should make you naturally high?

I think most of our lives are bitter disappointments. You walk up a hill and see a great view of the bay, then shiver thinking how unbeautiful your life is, how the grand dreams never came true. You failed in all this beauty. You’re in the city of dreamers but you let yourself down, or life let you down. So you drink.

Well Jim. You are nine years older than I am. You might not be able to walk now. That’s a scary thought.

I hope my legs hold up until after dad dies.

Love,

Dave