Friday, October 6

Dear Jim,

It´s a gorgeous late afternoon in Sacto. I´m at my favorite coffee shop. I´m surprised it isn´t crowded.

This afternoon I talked with dad. He sounded strong but he wasn´t animated. It must be horrible living in a rest home.

Today´s the first of our four October birthdays. Too bad there is so much family strife. It
breaks dad´s heart. He wants there to be a reconciliation before he dies, but I told him it isn´t going to happen. I did not mention the birthday to him.

Poor dad. Mom too. Everything they dreamed about when they were young, and the close family they thought they were building when we were young, has been destroyed.

Sis II and I were talking about the family strife last year. She wondered whether there would have been less if you had not died. Then she said no, you would have taken the other side.

You would have tried though. You would have tried to keep dad and mom from being heartbroken. The three of us have tremendous respect for dad and mom. You revered them.

Mom and dad lived their religious beliefs. But it´s more than that. They had incredible love for each other. They showed us how to be in a relationship, how to treat a woman and a man.

You realized they were living their love of God and practicing their faith in God. Their faith was not bullshit. They weren´t looking for something to do by being active in the parish. They did not go to Mass for psychological healing but for spiritual healing. Your love of God, religion, The Church, and your trust in authority figures made you realize how beautiful they were.

One of the reasons I never married is because I knew I could not have a marriage like theirs. It´s something you and I would have had to talk about as I got into my forties. I didn´t want kids. Did you?

The thing I really like about my job is all the kids. They crack me up. I usually try to engage them. As women say, ¨They´re so cuuuute!¨

If I retire I will miss them. They keep me from being an old fart. It´s too bad I didn´t want kids. They are the greatest joy, especially if you are madly in love with your wife.

Luck has a lot to do with life. Dad and mom felt blessed with each other, with you, the girls, and me.

I think that´s why you revered them. They were blessed. They blessed us with their love.

Love,

Dave